How forgiveness unlocks a child's potential.
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ACE research has brought to light the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on a child's ability to learn. The basic thought behind this is if a child is busy surviving there's little reserve for thriving.
Our 30+ years in the trenches has shown us there are keys that can help children turn traumatic circumstances around in their lives and there are some keys that if left unturned can lock them in an emotional prison.
Forgiveness is one of those keys.
Forgiveness is an underestimated tool, and an overplayed card. It's not like you can just wake up one day and be free from the past just because you uttered the words, "I forgive you." That's a great place to start, but forgiveness has very little to do with the other person and everything to do with the victim. It's a process not a phrase.
Happy, healthy schools develop emotional safety through a culture of forgiveness. It means we provide tools like the "Yeah-but..." tool as a secret weapon to help children strip off the continual layers of hurt and disappointments that growing up can form. In time, these layers can become calloused so children can no longer feel, or they can become filters through which everything is distorted.
Even under the worst situations, our amazing minds can and will rebuild new thought patterns pertaining to even the most horrific of situations. What those thought patterns will be is dependent on if your mind can process a way to turn it into a win for you. If not, the power of the mind can work against us and create narratives of guilt, shame, and blame that can then turn into self-fulfilling prophecy.
A culture of forgiveness helps children learn the process of forgiveness, and how to use it as magnifying glass to find the treasure it will produce.
For Happy, Healthy Schools!
Deanna
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